In exactly one month, I will officially be closer to 30 than 20. The big 2-6. Which I know isn't exactly old, but it is in many ways much older than I feel. It is amazing how our inner dialogues don't seem to age like the rest of us.
I had the day off of work and it is actually very pleasant today, so I was in a very good mood as I left my house to run some errands. One of the items on my agenda was to pick up some dry cleaning and as the cleaners is located a stone's throw from my high school, I decided that I should drive past the school for old time's sake.
It is amazing what can change in the course of 8 years. The high school is still on the same lot, but the position and the structure are completely different from when I went there. They started to rebuild when I was sophomore or junior, but it wasn't until several years after I had graduated that it was completed. Driving past Arvada West, but a very different Arvada West is when it really hit me that this aging thing just isn't going to stop. The cd I was listening to was Punk-O-Rama 9, a cd that I consider one of my "newer" punk albums. Then I realized that I owned that particular cd since it came out in 2004.
For a moment I was a little sad and nostalgic for the "old" days, back when I thought I had it all figured out the whole world. And nothing seemed so important as going to concerts and hanging out with friends. Don't get me wrong, I was always a pretty responsible kid with a job and good grades, but back then I still had plenty of carefree days.
Now I am a married home-owner with a baby on the way. I work in human resources for a national laboratory. Such a different life than I ever thought I would have! But I am very lucky to have this life, to have an amazing husband and a good job in this economy. And I certainly don't feel like my life is over; far from it. But I do have to come to terms with the fact that my youth is no longer "stretched before me." I have traded limitless possibilities for a husband and a home and a child. I have made choices and have grown up just a little bit and while I am happy with my decisions, it is still a bit of a harsh reality. No denying that you are getting old when "young Hollywood" is several years younger than you (I am looking at you, Zac Efron).