Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I love Velvet Underground and Lou Reed. Who doesn't know this song?

Memorial Day Weekend

I had a really good weekend. I had 4 days off from work, and while I didn't accomplish most of what I had planned to do, it was still very productive. We went to a baseball game, did some baby shower planning, got the nursery painted, ate at a delicious Brazilian steakhouse and hung out in both Denver and Boulder. The weather wasn't great, but it stayed dry so I can't even complain too much about that.

I have a lot of pictures to go through, including my week 26 and week 27 pregnancy pictures. I am huge, no mistaking that baby bump now! And it is insane to think the baby could be here in as little as 10 weeks (well, safely). I am so grateful for my continued mobility. Even if it gets bad in the third trimester, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I also want to say that I am so lucky to have Rob. He is so excited to be a daddy. He keeps saying that he is not at all nervous, that he just knows that everything is going to work out. He is also a great husband and my best friend. I love how whenever we are in a crowd, I don't have to look down, I just know that his hand will be there to grab mine. And I love he always positions me so that he stands closest to the street when we are walking. And that it is a given that he will open a door for me. I feeling particularly lucky today, since we were able to spend so much time together this weekend. He works a lot, and he was lucky enough to have had a 3-day weekend this time around. I was out and about much of this weekend and he was stuck doing some things around the house, so it wasn't like non-stop togetherness, but it was nice not heaving the threat of gainful employment dangling over our heads at night. I think I stayed up past midnight twice since Friday!

Anyway, I will be back with music videos and pictures.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 7: A song that reminds you of a certain event

This song reminds me of a day four summers ago when Rob and my brother and I went to Water World. Rob and I were fighting a lot that summer and this album had just come out, so I can't listen to the album without feeling a little sad.

And for the record, I love Tiger Army. Haters gonna hate, but whatever. This is not my favorite of their work, but I have strong love for Nick 13. In fact, I just bought tickets to Nick 13's solo date in Denver. It's the night before we leave for Minnesota (after a work day), but I did it anyway. I'm reckless like that. ;)

Day 6: A song that reminds you of somewhere

Theme from The Endless Summer. This reminds me of California. Rob and I love this movie, especially for winding down right before bed. It definitely fuels our fantasy of moving to a beach community in California.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 5: A song that reminds you of someone

I have to agree with Kyle's pick, this song reminds me of some hilarious times.

Off subject - is blogger messing with any one else today?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day 4: A song that makes me sad

This song makes me cry just thinking about it. My dad used to play this on weekends while we cleaned the house growing up. It reminded him of his dad, who died very suddenly when my father was in his twenties (before I was born). My dad and his dad were in the middle of some drama at the time, so my dad never did get to tell his dad all the things he wanted to say. Coinccidently, Rob's father played his father's funeral (before I met Rob) so the mention of this song will make both Rob and I cry like there is no tomorrow.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Day 3: a song that makes me happy

I really shouldn't preface every one of these music posts with something about how favorite is hard to define, blah, blah. Lots of songs make me happy, this just happens to be one of them. I heard this on a Hellcat Sampler years ago and it puts me in a good mood every time.

No More Misty Days by Buju Banton with Rancid

Day 2: Least Favorite Song

I don't know why I would want to share a song that I hate... I'm not too fond of Katy Perry, and I especially hate California Gurls, but I will do us all a favor and not share the video. :)

Day 1 - Favorite Song


Favorite is not a word I can use easily, but this really might be my favorite song.

This whole album (Sex, Love, and Rock and Roll) is very important to me and Rob, and very symbolic of our relationship. This is the first song that we danced to at our wedding, and Rob has the Highway 101 sign tattooed on his arm. This song reminds of the early times in our relationship, and the words hit close to home.



Friday, May 20, 2011

30 days of music

I'm following Kyle's lead and posting 30 days of music. Some of the selections are a little, uh, random, but this should be fun.

day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Thanks to a visit from VP Biden, I am telecommuting today. It's nice to have a little less pressure after the week I have had... This week I was I was in the middle of an I-9 audit, dealing with a hot compensation issue, and had to meet with the top management at NREL regarding our tuition reimbursement program. Oh, and now is the time of year when all the summer interns start and I am the guardian of new hire data. So it's been real, real fun. But thanks to the lack of shuttle availability, heightened security, and the onslaught of local media, I opted to stay home and do some online training I had been putting off. And laundry! Yay!

My usual method of dealing with stress is to get pissy, so I'm sure I've been a joy to be around this week. Rob is handling it like a trooper, bringing me flowers, gummy bears, and blackberries. I may have to admit that the hormones are kicking in a little and bringing out some of the worst anxiety in me. But I will get through this too, and aside from sciatica, I'm still feeling great. Last night we put headphones on my abdomen and let the baby listen to a few songs: some Rosemary Clooney, The Who, and of course, Social Distortion. The baby was kicking up storm, so he/she either loved it or hated it!

Earlier in the night Rob and I had volunteered with my mom at a women's homeless shelter, so that was helpful in giving me perspective as well. It served to remind me that I want to raise my baby with the awareness of community. Like Gandhi said, you have to be the change you want to see in the world. No man is an island, and every little decision we make has the potential to impact someone else, for better or worse. It is our choice to remember or ignore that fact, and I try very hard to remember.

Anyway, here are some preg pics from last weekend, at 25 weeks. The dress below I won in a giveaway and I didn't quite believe the company when they advertised the dress as "runs large" so even the small fit me (I think this week was my last chance for now). Even though the picture was not from that night, the outfit is what I wore to my final photography review. Everyone called me "adorable." That is a perk of pregnancy, never before have I gained weight and got more compliments out of the deal!




Tuesday, May 17, 2011

One Lovely Blog


Ginny was kind enough to tag me for the One Lovely Blog Award (my first ever). I really appreciate the sweet sentiment since I don't think very much of my little blog. I use this as a way to get out of my head, but I really want it to be more than that. Little things like this definitely serve as motivation to push myself and my blog to be all that it can be!

Here are the award guidelines:
1. Post linking back to the person that gave you the award
2. Share 7 random things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered blogs.
4. Drop them a note and tell them about it.

.....

1. Go check out Life as Topher's Mom. Ginny's blog is full of glimpses into her life as a mom and teacher. I have to echo the person who tagged her in saying that it is a very interesting daily read!

2. 7 random things about myself.

I love to cook and bake. Most recently I made this and this. Both were really good. I added milk chocolate and Reeses peanut butter chips to the cookies, in case you were wondering. Peanut flour is awesome for several reasons, including that it is gluten-free and has higher levels of protein than regular flour. I used TJ brand (thanks mom!).

Rob and I are addicted to San Pellegrino. Thank god for Costco.

I bruise like a peach. Seriously, tap me on the arm and I will be showing it for a week. My legs are covered in black and blue spots since I'm also Captain Oblivious (Hi Desk! I didn't notice you there!)

I despise bananas. I can be persuaded to eat (and sometimes even make) banana bread, but I can't see someone eating a fresh banana without gagging. I insist all smoothies be made banana free. I also hate fish (hate eating it, love the creatures) and electrical humming noises.

I love swimming and anything relating to water. Oceans, pools, hot springs. I even have an underwater scene tattooed on my arm.

My happy place is the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland.

I am secretly hoping for a red-headed baby.

3. 15 blogs to tag... that is a tall order! How about 5?

All This Grace and Charm
Windshield Diaries
The Right Amount of Sass, Class, and Ass
The DC Metro Retro
I've Been to Graceland

Assumptions

No one thinks I am married. I just can't figure out for the life of me why this keeps happening. I have never been referred to as Mrs. Organ, always Ms. Organ. Even when Rob is next to me and we are both wearing rings. In the spirit of full disclosure, Rob does not usually wear his wedding ring during the week since it is a hazard in his line of work. But even when he is wearing his ring, I get called his girlfriend. Maybe it's the tattoos? My mom says it's because I look young. I'm young, but not that young. Closer to 30 than 20 in fact. Make-up, no make-up, frumpy yoga pants or dressed up, I guess I just don't look like the marrying type.

Of course this has translated to pregnancy. I know that it is more rare these days, but I indeed got married, bought a house, then decided to have a baby. In that order. Not that there is anything wrong with doing things any other way since there are a million paths to a family, but I am surprised that people are so shocked to learn that I planned this pregnancy. A really common question when we first announced it was "Was it planned?" And this was coming from casual acquaintances (my family and friends knew it was on the horizon). We had been married 2.5 years at that point (which doesn't mean anything, I know) and I had been talking about babies non stop pretty much after our first year of marriage. We were a little shocked at just how quickly it happened after "pulling the goalie," but a baby was indeed in the game plan. The question didn't even bother us, just the number of people who asked and who asked... it seemed that the less well we knew someone, the more likely they were to ask!

The worst is at work. 6 months ago a co-worker was at my desk and saw my wedding pictures. She asked who's wedding it was, finishing up with "...because you're not married..." Umm, I'm not in the habit of having other people's wedding pictures at my desk (I'm not talking family/group shots, it was our hands/rings, our cake, and us!), and yeah, for over two years now, thankyouverymuch. I've been married longer than I have been at my current job!

So you can imagine how it has been with the baby news. I am pretty quiet until you get to really know me, and I tend to shy away from the spotlight. I started telling my immediate co-workers back in February, but it still took until last week for the rest of my 30+ person department to find out. There is another pregnant woman who is about to go on maternity leave and her group wanted to throw her a baby shower this coming Friday. The co-organizer mentioned that I was also pregnant and they asked me if I would like to be included (two-for-one shower=less awkward for me). I said yes and the invite went out. People have started coming up to me and saying congratulations "now that it is official," as though I was holding off on announcing the news. In the past few months I can't tell you how many people asked if it was okay to talk to me about it, as though it was taboo and maybe I was unprepared to discuss the realities of becoming a teen mother. I am exaggerating a little, but not much.

Maybe I come across ashamed or awkward about the situation since I am not shoving it down every one's throat 24/7? How do you broach the topic with someone that you maybe say hi to a few times a week? Or rather, why would I unless the conversation naturally went there?
And keep in mind that I work in HR at the National Renewable Energy Lab and I am a Human Resources Information Systems specialist. So it's not like I am making copies or grabbing coffee as an intern. I could do things that would wreck pay checks (cue Evil Laugh). I am a grown-up, dammit!

Of course I just laugh and say that I could talk about it all day and that I just didn't want to assume that everyone else does. That's when everyone finally feels okay to say that I am glowing and how exciting, etc, etc. Of course this hasn't been everyone's reaction, but I am little shocked at how often it has happened. For example, I went to register at Babies R Us on Saturday with my mom. I had some online registries (Target and Amazon) and then my anxiety kicked in and I thought that I wasn't asking for the right things, so I had my mom help me out. The lady who set up the registry made a few comments (not in any way unkind) that made me feel like she thought I was there with my mom for lack of male presence in my pregnancy. I had listed "Rob Organ" as my co-registrant, but she still didn't seem to connect the dots (to her credit she didn't seem all that sharp in the first place). The real reason Rob was not there was because my husband, like me, has never birthed a child, while my mother has three times over.

I guess it boils down to this: I'm bothered since I can't decide whether it is a societal commentary or a personal one. Is it just me? Am I projecting weird energy or do old people just assume that young-uns with tattoos don't know about birth control? Again, not to put down "accidents," just want to know why people assume that about me!

I am, as usual, probably reading far too much into this... Oh well.

On a slightly related tangent, where are all those strangers who are supposed to be opening doors for me, or asking if I am okay carrying heavy bags, or giving me the prime seats on the shuttle? I thought pregnant women got perks! Either I don't look pregnant enough or I live around uncaring cretins! Darn my lengthy torso and it's vertical rather than horizontal girth! Just kidding, mostly. :) And to be fair, the girl at Pinkberry did give me an extra an stamp on my frequent buyer card "for the baby." That counts.

Friday, May 13, 2011

blogger, wtf

I swear that I didn't mean to publish my last post, at least not without, oh, um, proof-reading it first. Blogger has been acting strange all day for me, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. And now I am so embarrassed. Thanks Blogger.

24 Weeks

24 weeks has brought a little more realization that I am indeed carrying something in abdomen. It is getting a little more difficult bending down and I can't pop up out of my seat quite like I used too. And my feet have looked suspiciously swollen on two occasions in the past week. I'm still feeling great though, so no complaints. I feel the baby moving around all the time now and Rob loves to lay his ear up to my stomach to hear and feel all the little movements. On a couple occasions he has been able to tap on my abdomen in a certain spot and seconds later, a little kick. It may just be coincidence, but it feels like interaction and bonding to us. :)


I had my well check this Wednesday, which confirmed that the baby is absolutely fine after last week's accident. I was given my glucola for my next appointment, which means I am almost to the third trimester! Realizing how few weekends are left (and even fewer paychecks) is a really sobering and exciting realization. I'm feeling less than positive about the actual birth at this point, which is a disappointment. The doctor this week basically answered all of my questions about birth and labor the way I figured she would (do I have to have an IV? Yes. Can I birth in any position I want? Nope, you need to be the position most comfortable for the doctor), and we spent more time talking about her Audi than my labor options (Rob was wearing his work uniform). I have been reading Birth Matters, so I was pretty prepared for the average medical professional speech, but I've actually gotten angrier over the last few days. It is so disheartening that I feel like I have to approach my child's birth on the defense rather than in a supportive environment. I have been debating switching to a midwife, but there is only one that takes my insurance and delivers at the hospital closest to my house. I don't know if the rules are the same regardless of who delivers, so really my next step is to take the hospital tour and ask my questions again. I am trying to keep in mind that the hospital cannot tell me what to do really, and if I feel like birthing on all fours or standing up how are they going to stop me? Tie me down? Don't think so.


But feeling that way is already upsetting. I want to be calm, I want to be relaxed, and I want to be focused on my body. Not worried that I will have to put up a fight just to be treated decently. I read all of these accounts of home births or birth center births and even the worst story sounds so much better than some of the best hospital stories I have been told. But as I have mentioned before, Colorado is not midwife friendly and I do want to have a medical team nearby in case of an emergency, so I most likely will stay with my practice. Rob has promised to be my advocate and we have agreed that if this experience is not what we wanted, we will explore other options in the future. I just wished there were more options.


On to cuter news, here are a few shots of some things I have been working on for the baby. Hopefully we will be painting sometime in the next two weeks, so that will be nice to have out of the way. Rob and I both love the summer and want to get as much around the house stuff done before July 4 (Rob's birthday!) so that we can enjoy the last few months baby-free as much as possible.



Lately...

Lately I have had a lot of things to say but little energy to follow through. And I am shocked, shocked, I tell you, that it is Friday already. I never even got to talk about last weekend, and here it is, another one. Oh well.


Last weekend I went to the Horseshoe Market and Craft Fair. I went with my mom and we were one of the first 50 people there, so we got a cute little tote bag filled with goodies. It was really warm that day, which was a nice break from the rainy weather we had been having (it snowed on Wednesday). We bought a few items and generally had a nice time. The only irritation of the day occurred when I was walking around with a plastic martini glass filled with juice (a bartending company had set up a Hawaiian "mocktail" tent and I had a strawberry/basil/balsamic thing), and some woman actually commented on it. She asked if I had "something good to drink." I laughed it off and said that it probably looked suspicious that I was walking around with a martini glass and a belly, but um, what if it was alcohol? What was she going to do? Judge me? Because, really, she already had... And by the way, this is at like 9:30 am. It was very annoying and so needless to say, I didn't buy anything from her.

div>Later that evening Rob and I went to see a roller derby bout with his cousin and his girlfriend, and that turned out to be pretty entertaining. Those girls are tough!

So here are my phone pics of last weekend. Totally out of any order because I hate blogger. It never works right at work. And to be fair, I probably should do this more from home but after 10 hours in front of a computer, good luck getting me back in front of one at night.




















Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Stuff

First of all, I would like to let everyone know about a giveaway at Life as Topher's Mama. I just made my first scentsy purchase last week, so I can attest to this stuff smelling very good.

Second, I am asking that you vote for my lovely friend Ellen in this contest. Clearly she is the most adorable in the competition!

In other news, I finished my last week of my photo class this week. It's bittersweet because although I resented like hell the long days while pregnant, it was a pretty fun class. My only complaint is that I wished I learned more. I feel like I went into the class with a style and a good eye, and my classmates tended to agree, but I wish I had pushed myself out of my comfort zone more. I created a book for my final project (Vintage Automobilia) and my teacher suggested that I continue to add my hot rod photographs to the book throughout the summer so that I have a comprehensive collection. I think I will, and I will eventually post the link for my book here. Next I am taking a computer graphics class so that I can learn to master Photoshop. Unfortunately I will have to take a break this fall because I'm guessing homework and newborns don't work so well together, but I will enjoy the break from the real world for a few months! I am so, so excited for maternity leave.


And speaking of the baby, I have my 24 week appointment this afternoon. I also have some pictures of growing bump that I need to post. I'm also moving along on some crafts and the nursery design, so I want to write a little about that this week. I bought a repro of the print below and am so excited to see how it all comes together.



Thursday, May 5, 2011

Two completey unrelated thoughts that I somehow felt deserved documentation

On my happiest, most carefree days, my anxiety level is about a 6 out of a 10. So on the average day I am usually an 8. I have a really good poker face when it comes to this sort of thing. It's an unintentional but natural skill after years of fighting back panic attacks and nervous tears. Of course I have learned to deal with my anxiety several pleasant ways. Obsessive negative thoughts about my weight is one way I have gone in the past, although these days it's more of just annoying self-depreciating comments in front of Rob so he can exasperatedly refute my claims and calm my nerves. Another big one is just to store all the nervous energy in my muscles. Lately I have woken up so sore for no reason other than I am tense all night long. I drift off to sleep grinding my teeth, and wake up feeling like I have been in a bar fight. I think I am starting to realize that denial, while very powerful indeed, is not exactly the same as a release. So no more excuses, I need to get on an exercise plan, and quickly. I always feel better and more relaxed after physical activity. I don't want this situation to get any worse and I fear the hormones coming my way. Although I do need to say that I think I have been pretty rational up until this point. Only a few hormonal outbursts. :) Seriously. People doubted me, but I'm being a totally chill pregnant lady.

And on to a completely different topic... Rob has been cooking dinner once a week (he never cooked until I starting making him) and it has been really good. So I need to acknowledge that. So far he has made kabobs and rice; hamburgers with fried eggs on top; chicken, roasted fingerling potatoes, and steamed artichokes; and spaghetti with his own sauce. I have been in the kitchen with him the whole time for support and questions, but I have let him do all of the menu planning, flavoring, and work, and I think that we are both happy with how naturally it is coming to him. He loves to point out how great of a husband he is, and I can't deny that. In fact last night, while his sauce was simmering, he was helping me pick out maternity clothes online. All after an extremely long day at work. So yay Rob!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Bad, bad morning

So I wanted to write about my little 1950's house and the drama it put us through this weekend, but instead I am going to complain about my morning... I have the day off and had several errands to run including getting our Tacoma an emmision test so that I could renew our tags, which expired in March. Rob was going to get the test taken care of but never got around to it so here we are, three days past our grace period. I also needed to drop off Rob's (brand new) glasses for repair because last week a screw driver popped up while he was doing something at work and scratched the lens. Thankfully he was wearing them, since otherwise it would have been his eye, although safety glasses would have solved that problem. And then I had some fun phone calls planned, including one to figure out why my medical insurance company didn't consider my 20 week anatomy scan ultrasound "medically necessary." And so denied the claim to the tune of $600. But first I thought I would read a few blogs, catch up on email, etc. A little after 9 am, I heard a pop and the next thing I knew, the power was out. I tried calling Rob to see what I should do, wait it out or call the power company. Since I couldn't get ahold of him I decided to just run the errands and deal with the power the later. I realized that I couldn't find the renewal paper work so elected to drop off the glasses first, and I off I went.

Then I got in my first ever car accident. At 5 months pregnant. So that was fun. Not my fault, but I didn't know what to do so we didn't call the police, I have no witnesses, and of course, my registration is out of date. And I still couldn't get a hold of Rob. It was a pretty clear cut case of a Hummer trying to change lanes without checking to see if someone else was there first, so really no way it could be my fault, but I am pissed that no one else saw it. The guy was nice enough and thankfully I wasn't hurt (neither was he, but he was in a Hummer and I was in a tiny truck that sits lower to the ground than the average car does so I wasn't worried about him). He basically side-swiped my drivers side causing a fair amount of body damage. But at least the car is drivable and I (and the baby) are fine. Now I just have to add an accident report and a car insurance claim to my oh-so-fun afternoon docket. Yay.

Week 23

I'm starting to look pregnant to the outside world! At least when I'm wearing something semi-tight. Here are some photos that Rob took right before we went out to a show (Three Bad Jacks) last Friday.

This past week was the first time I was sure I felt the baby moving, and it really is an amazing feeling. I wasn't worried that it took so long since the doctor told me I had an anterior placenta, but now that I can feel the baby every day, I feel so relieved. Friday night the baby was going crazy and Rob was actually able to feel a little kick! It was very lucky timing since the baby is still pretty small (well, if you can call nearly a foot long and nearly a pound in weight small), and it was awesome to see how excited Rob was to have felt it.

I've been focusing on eating different flavors (since the baby can taste via amniotic fluid), listening to music (since the baby can hear), and dancing around (the baby's sense of motion should be developed by now). I still can't wrap my head around how amazing pregnancy is. I've said it before, and I will say it again. It seems so normal until it happens to you, then it becomes insanely miraculous. Not a day goes by that I don't remind myself that there is indeed another human being inside of me.

And on a completely unrelated note, I wanted to share this song: El Camino Real by Lee Dresser. It is one of my (and Rob's) favorite. We heard the song for the first time at VLV last year and after several hours of research were able to track down the name and artist, and even found the record on Ebay! Our record player broke during a tragic credenza moving accident and we haven't had the chance to fix it yet, so I've been going through record withdrawls. So let's just enjoy the YouTube version....