Thursday, August 18, 2011

Still pregnant. Still working. Trying to remain positive.

I'm a quasi-government employee. I think I have mentioned that before, but if not, yep, it's true. While it is a little more complex than this, tax dollars pay my bills.

"Quasi" means that we are funded by a federal agency, the Department of Energy. Funded by, but not employees of. NREL is managed by another company (another several actually) and truth be told, NREL is a facility and technically no one evens work for NREL, just at NREL. Makes sense, right? Anyway, what quasi-government really means is that we have to follow all the rules without getting all of the perks. And when federal budget cuts are looming, we are definitely on the chopping block. I should say that we could be on the chopping block. We just don't know what the future looks like, but of course we are optimistic.

That being said, it looks like I am going on leave at a bad time. I work in the HRIS/Comp function and the fall is always busy. This fall may be bringing special considerations and difficulties which is leaving me a little ambivalent. I am actaully quite happy to be missing out on stressful and difficult months, but I really am a little unsure about what I will walk back into when I get back. As much as I would like to say I won't think of work while I am out, I tend to have a hard time letting that sort of thing go.

On the other hand, I am so happy to have time off in the fall. Fall is probably my favorite season in Colorado. I love summers, but CO summers are so unpredicatable. Actually, all weather is unpredicatable in Colorado. Fall is nice because there usually isn't the extreme temps we can get the rest of the year, and usually the snow won't start until late October or later. Plus, pumpkins! And this year, babies in pumpkins!

I am thinking that I will be starting back at work sometime in early November, which will give me all of September and October with the baby. So for that reason, I am okay with the fact that the baby isn't here yet. Every day that he or she waits is another day I get to spend with my baby in my favorite season.

Yeah, this post doesn't make so much sense. But this is the random trail of thoughts that were bouncing through my head today. Mantras...I will not stress about work. I will not stress about work. I will enjoy my baby and my time off with said baby. I will not worry that because my baby was not two weeks early my baby will be two weeks late.

We have been trying to fill our time up. Work obviously takes a large portion of both our days. Aside from that we've gone out to dinner, met up with friends, and generally tried to relax. This weekend we are going to eat at our favorite breakfast place, go see an IMAX movie at the museum, and maybe even make it to the pool if the weather cooperates. Hopefully we can get a little more cleaning done (car detail, cleaning the carpets where the dogs spend most of their day, hang up some pictures in our back room). Otherwise I'm sure we will be nervous wrecks. Each day gets a little hard to deal with the anticipation and I'm not sure how much more we can take!


Carly Anne said...

First off, it's good to hear someone express these concerns about work. So many pregnant blogging ladies don't work outside of the home or don't plan to go back to work and thusly have no insight on this kind of thing. I'm not entirely sure what I will do when it comes time to make that decision... the Mister just got a raise which would allow me to stay home (albeit VERY frugally) but I am sort of terrified of leaving the workforce and coming back old, washed up, and years behind folks younger than myself. If I do decide to continue working, I know I will be equally worried about what will have occurred/changed in my absence.

Hang in there, I hope that baby comes soon!

Nicole said...

It is so hard to figure out how to handle the career piece. I have known a few woman who have been SAHM who end up feeling out of sorts once their kids are raised and their identities shift or who do have a hard time breaking back into the working world. Of course that is not everyone, but I've seen it enough to know that I always want to keep relevant somehow, be it working part-time or free-lancing or starting my own small business.

That being said, I can't imagine keeping the pace that I have now after the baby comes. I want my child to be the focus of my life, not my job. How I acheive that is a little harder to figure out.