The first moment that I saw her, I knew I loved her. But the first emotion I really deeply felt was relief. Relief that she was healthy, that everything was where it should be, and relief that labor was over. Then the worry set in - was I going to be the mom that she would need? Over the past few weeks trepidation and worry has been replaced by a very intense and unexplainable love and protectiveness. Or rather these feelings have been there all along and every day I realize them more and more. It really is the best feeling the world. I love the feeling I get when I hold her, when I make her cries stop. I love feeling her hand wrapped around my finger, her feet against my arm when I am feeding her. I love being a mom.
I can't believe that is has already been nearly four weeks. The time has just flown by. I hate thinking about going back to work, especially since I haven't accomplished any of the things that are on my to-do list. We have spent most of our time being with friends and family, and I prefer that anyway. It has been an awesome experience to watch our parents and siblings become grandparents, aunt, and uncles.We want her to grow up knowing that she has a wide network of love and support. I had a great relationship with my extended family as a child (it got harder to see everyone once we moved to Colorado), and I want the same for her.
So far, we are:
- Co-sleeping - We alternate between a bassinet next to our bed and our bed. It has been working out really well. I am usually the one to wake up with her, since she only gets up once a night and Rob can't feed her anyway at this point.
- Exclusively breastfeeding - also working out wonderfully. I bought a pump but haven't tried to use it yet, although I know that I need to soon since I do have to go back to work in a few weeks.
- Baby-wearing - We have only been able to use our carriers a few times since she just now at the minimum weight requirements, but Rob has used the Bjorn a few times and I have used the Moby wrap twice (We also have an Ergo). We both love baby-wearing.
- Using disposable diapers - We are thinking about trying cloth but I have a feeling that our situation will make it too inconvenient between our work schedules and the amount of time we are out and about. That being said, we are very aware of the negative impact disposables have on the environment statistics on disposables so we are still on the fence.
Unrelated - I need to figure out the computer/picture issue because I have a backlog of close to 2000. Expect a lot of photos when I have the time to sort that out. In the meantime, here are a few that my sister Teresa took/edited.
Uncle Daniel - don't ask about the hat.
My mom took this one, one of my favorites.
Father and Daughter.
Aunt T, as Teresa would like to be called.
Great-grandma and grandma (Rob's grandmother and mom).
Nana Anna (My mom)
Many, many, more to come. :)