Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Time Flies

These photos describe how I feel about going back to work:


I'm in my last week of maternity leave. I don't like thinking about it. In fact, I cry every time I do. The last few months have been some of the best of my life. I really don't like thinking about returning to a job that I. Cannot. Stand.

That being said, I know that I should be grateful that I have a job at all, let alone one with a semi-flexible schedule (I plan to work 4 ten-hour days, with one of those telecommuting). And I have pretty decent health insurance, which is the main reason I am going to continue to work for now. Hopefully we can figure out a way for me to go part-time in the next year or two and that makes it a little easier, since I can tell myself that I am going back for now, but not forever.

I know a lot of working moms choose to do so. I know a lot enjoy the adult interaction and the opportunity to wear nice clothes. I do not. Well, what I mean is I found that I had plenty of interaction while I was off. I was never bored. I spent a lot of time with friends and family so I had a great balance between mommy and baby time and grown-up time. Plus, most of my co-workers are significantly older than I am. I get along with most of them, but I'm not really myself around them, so I have actually gotten more out of staying home since I could spend my days being myself: my tattooed, slightly outrageous, occasionally obnoxious and opinionated. I communicate by phone and email, so I don't really have to dress nice at work. Plus, my daughter is at home and no amount of perks would make me feel like I would rather be out of the house. I like hanging out with my baby. I love cooking, and don't mind cleaning. But I have a feeling that fitting all that in after a 10 hour day at work - it sounds exhausting. I'm certainly not the first mom to have to deal with this, but I didn't realize how hard it would be. I am a little resentful towards European countries who give women a year or two for maternity leave - six weeks just don't cut it.

Again though, I am so, so lucky. I had no problems getting pregnant, had an uneventful pregnancy, a pretty good delivery, a great recovery, and a super healthy baby. I haven't even had any problems breastfeeding, and I only get up once a night with Nora. I am so lucky, and I know it. I just wish that I could continue with maternity leave forever.

5 comments:

Carly Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carly Anne said...

It's really interesting to read your feelings about this. For a long time, I assumed I would want to stay home with my children, but now that the Mister and I are actually working on said children, well, I've been pondering what it would be like to totally give up my career... And if that's something I truly want. I've been thinking more about going part-time--though I'm not sure if my job would allow it. Of course, I maintain the fear that, as you present, I will never want to leave once I see that sweet little face, but will already be committed to come back to my employer.

I guess I am fortunate in that it is a choice for me, although our lifestyle would have to change dramatically to accommodate losing my income. And then I worry that we wouldn't be providing enough... Sigh. Such a tough subject.

What are you doing about child care?

Nicole said...

We are so lucky in that aspect. Rob is working Saturdays so he can have Mondays off, I will have Tuesdays off, and I will telecommute another day out of the week. Both of our parents have some flexibility right now, so Nora will be at either of the granparents' house 1-2 days a week. This situation will not last forever, but at least we have bought another few months before we have to find daycare. The cost is insane though, so if it comes down to shelling out thousands for daycare or shelling out thousands for private health insurance, you can bet we will buy our own insurance and I will stay home. :)

Living Vintage said...

I think people who are able to make the choice to work or not work are super lucky. I don't have that choice myself we rely on my salary to help pay the mortgage and my health insurance is all we have since my husband is self employed and has none.

Carly Anne said...

::nod:: Hopefully you can maintain that schedule for a while - it's nice to have family help out, for sure. One of my major concerns is that the cost of child-care would close to negate my income...

But then, of course, there is the problem of insurance--my husband's insurance costs the near equivalent of private and that would be so rough on one income (as I know you have already teased out with your husband). Again, we are left to envy the Europeans...